formula for trust

She screams at me from the next room.

She demands that I come soothe.

And here I go...

What sweet peace in the knowledge that when you scream out,

when you exclaim,

your needs are met.

..If only...

"Ginny's Lesson"

I'm not here to wait for Prince Charming. My life was full of lies and shit balls, or is it shit lies and balls?

Not too sure.

Not so sure there is a difference. I do know that the next time someone asks me how married life is, I will not say...

"well, I didn't have any expectations."

So....Now....

I'm a single mom.

I have an amazing little lady.

Seriously.

She is my Technicolor.

No regrets, no looking back.

I begin now.

Rant

I have become awash with hypocrisy.
Drunk with delusion.
Am I really better than you? Am I happier? Am I living the American Dream?
Hardly.
Angry, that's what I am.
Why so angry?
Angry at you and your stupid ideals, your happy life, your brisk walk,
your smile.
Wipe that smile off your face.
How can you be mad at a stranger?
I peer at everyone, anyone...I have judged your life and character in one single glance.
I am usually pretty accurate.

Currently unable to form complete sentences, able only to mumble babbling platitudes.
Looking deep , I look for signs of life, for love...
I find no pink, red, or orange to speak of.
It is a vacuum, a void of space.
Can color exist in a vacuum?
Hardly.
The soul is void, empty.
Sucked out by the leeches, I have let break down the wall.
Have I saved a bit for myself..I was always good at savoring the last bit.

the bit I saved...shit! It's too moldy.

Oh Lordy!

Where to begin? How does one start blogging? I feel pressured to scribble down thoughts a-la-grandiose, but my gyri are not programed for such outpourings. In fact, I have just spent the last two minutes pushing my cuticles back, instead of typing. This brings grave concern to the longevity and dedication I can muster for this exercise. hmm.
So, why am I here?
Why would you want to read this?

My answer is simple, concise, and loaded with grumbling. (yes, a bit like myself)
I needed some where to vent. People sicken me; the people as a populace, that is. Simple-minded beasts wrapped in jesus' fur. I am constantly disgusted and alarmed by our doltish brethern. I have little tolerance for optimism, so after a while I thought the surprise would decrease. Not so, my babies.
My purpose for writing? I shall try to relay an incredulous but valid event that occurs during the waking hours. Will it shock and surprise you? How the hell should I know...

Today...
Background: The patient is 19 and on her second pregnancy. We have each patient fill out an information/contact paper to put with their file. On the marital status line, there are two choices...Married or Single. (only two choices, mind you)
Incident: She wrote...Ingaged.

Fucking Brilliant! I feel sick.

So, there it is friends. Tune in for our next adventure! (I'm sure you won't have to wait long!)